Venting

I have a need to vent this morning.
Maybe I shouldn't do this on a public forum,
But I will....

My daughter's grandmother died yesterday.  She was in her late 90's and had lived a long and remarkable life, and was looking forward to go to be with Jesus.  She suffered a lot in the last few weeks.  She was born in Germany, married a Russian man and then when World War II happened, was no longer welcome in Russia and with her two small children fled Russia trying to get back to Germany.  It all is a fascinating story of survival during a terrible time; also interesting is how she finally was able to come to Canada, but I'm not going to write about that today.

She was my former mother-in-law.
My daughter is going to funeral which is a long distance from here.
Her father will be there of course.

I know he will take the credit for her becoming a judge, when the truth is that she achieved her goal in spite of him.
He stopped paying child support very early after our divorce; our daughter was 3 1/2 years old when we separated.  He never paid a dime toward any medical expenses, clothing expenses, educational expenses. 
He never remembered her birthday unless I sent him a letter reminding him that his daughter was having a birthday.  Even now in her adult years, he doesn't acknowledge her on her birthday - not even with a short email.  She has learned not to expect anything from him.
Actually this started even before our divorce.  On her first birthday, he didn't come home till 2:00 in the morning.  No happy first birthday in our home!!!

Except this year he just might remember -- because her birthday is the day of the funeral.
The financial cost of her education was paid entirely by her scholarships and out of my income.  It was very difficult for us.  He never even once offered to help.

I didn't see any way that she could go through law school, but she got a full-ride scholarship at a private university; I helped whenever I could, but most of her living expenses during that time came from student loans which she's still repaying.  Nothing from her father.

During the first five years of our marriage, I worked so he could get his Ph.D. degree.  During those years, we never bought any furniture or a house nor did I spend money on myself, but I did it gladly because it was our joint goal.  Then, after his graduation, we divorced because, in his words, "he grew but I didn't".  Duh - yes, I was busy making a living and wasn't able to go back to school to "grow".  Actually the reason I divorced him was because of his constant and open infidelity.  Since then he has had a wonderful career making lots of money.  Truthfully -- it made me bitter, but I have mostly learned to let it go, but whenever I  see his self-centeredness wounding our daughter, it makes me angry! 

But today I'm venting -- forgive me please.  I very seldom write such a personal post, but this morning -- I really need to do that.