This makes 7

Six of my friends have passed away since the middle of November, and this past Sunday we got word that my first husband died suddenly of a heart attack Saturday night.  He is #7, and I always heard that deaths just come in 3's. 

People who have never been divorced do not understand that a divorce decree does not cut off the emotions one or both of those married people had for each other.  In the case of my first marriage, I assumed we would be married for life, that we would be soul mates forever, but it was not to be.  But in spite of everything that happened, I still cared for him -- after all, he was the father of my child.  The last time I saw him was in April of 2003 when he came to Denver for our daughter's wedding; there really wasn't much time to talk, but we could very easily have had a very nice conversation, even though I really wanted to remind him of how much he hurt my daughter and myself.  All this time I had still been praying for him that he would return to faith in God, but I don't know that it ever happened.  Part of me was also hoping that at some time he would apologize for all he had done -- because he never once said he was sorry.  My daughter had the same feelings.  All her life she's been hoping that he would be the father she wanted -- and it never happened.  When she first heard that he died, she grieved, but soon that feeling was replaced by a feeling of freedom.  Now she no longer has to hope that he will be what she needs and be disappointed.  I also have that feeling of being free -- I no longer have to hope to hear him admit to his wrongdoings and say he's sorry..... 

"Vengeance is mine, says the Lord...."